2005-05-12 - 6:04 p.m.

Dear Blog

After 4 days of funeral and all the procedures that comes with it, i have come to a conclusion. It is completely impossible for me to become a christian.

During the 4 days, my deceased uncle's close relatives (who were all christians) did not participate in any of the prayer sessions or offer any joss stick at all cos they do not believe in these stuffs. But the fact is that i do believe in all these. Prayers, joss stick, joss paper, food offerings, that the dead will live in the underworld, i believe every bit of these stuffs. Some of you will say immediately that i am unbiblical. Yes, i am and i admit it. I am not prepared to give up traditions that my family and i have believed and trusted upon for something that i barely just started to learn about.

Thing is i am willing to participate in any of the prayer sessions and offer joss stick sincerely to my deceased uncle and i dun really care if it's biblical or not.

To speak the truth, i believe in many many things that christians consider unbiblical and i do not want to give up these believes. Let's just say it's so deeply rooted in me that i'd rather choose to go to hell rather than choose eternity if forced to give up these believes.

My father was not a christian and neither is most of my family, so i will not become one because my family is so much more impt to me than religion or christianity for that matter.

If i have to give up my family traditions, then i'll ask god to take me off his salvation list. Eternity means nothing to me if my family is not with me.

WAS - IS

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